Sunday, June 11, 2017

Really, Truly Alone

I can say that I'm comfortably settled in to DC now. I have my room set up, my work duties down, groceries in the fridge, and physical health taken care of. However, I am confronted by my neglect of one essential component of living in a new city — I legitimately, 100% do not know how to make friends. I haven't been at work long enough to get to know anyone, there are no friendly RA's to introduce everyone to each other in the dorm, and to top it off, overwhelming social anxiety leaves me too scared to even leave the room on my own. I'm getting sick of looking at my window and staring down the door, yet still intimidated by the thought of going outside. Luckily, I'm not lonely, as I'm texting and calling friends from back in California, but I'm upset at myself for spending all of my time by myself in my room instead of being out and doing things. And I don't know what to do about. I am at a complete loss about what to do with myself. I don't know what the point of writing this is as it's not helping me solve my problem; if anything, this is an excuse to stay indoors with some semblance of purpose. I supposed I'll be forced to figure it out sooner or later, but as of now, I don't know what's going on and I don't know what to do. ◊

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