Saturday, December 17, 2016

Semester Reflection

Somehow, this semester is finished. Just like that, I'm done with half of my time in college. I'm proud of what I've been through this semester. The aimlessness and the struggle were more pronounced at certain points but ultimately succeeding and getting to a better place internally and externally was worth it, despite how painful progress is sometimes.

The last week of classes this semester in particular left me overwhelmed in the worst (academic stress and such) and best ways, with the love I felt from my friends and being aware that I am in a situation where I feel safe, despite continuing mental health problems. I remember crying because I realized how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life, and I can only hope that my presence in their life makes them as happy as they make me. When I come home to an apartment flooded with sunshine and I feel full of life, I reflect on how I never thought I could feel so happy but now I am.

More than anything, I have found that I am capable of handling stress better than I thought I could. I have confidence in my ability to get through even the toughest hell weeks, now that I've been through a few. I'm no longer intimidated by times when everything is happening at once.

That said, there are still a lot of things to figure out, like how to express that I'm struggling without being negative. Now that the academic part of the year is over, I'll hopefully have some time to go to the counseling center and get some professional help. I have exactly one month before classes start again in January. But first, a well deserved nap. ◊

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