Thursday, November 17, 2016

Dead Batteries

My phone battery died on me in the middle of a call today. It was a bit of a shock; this usually doesn't happen, 1) because I rarely make calls, and 2) I'm very responsible about leaving the house in the morning only with a 100% charge.

I thought this week would be a fairly normal, even laid back, week. Instead, it has felt like the busiest week I've had this semester. I'm in a pretty good state mental health wise, and I'm not sick, but somehow I still have felt awful, sad, and tired. Little disputes between friends and coworkers have built up, impacting me emotionally. Usually I'm able to rant to other friends or distract myself with archery or watching shows to take my mind off of whatever's bothering me, but without being aware of it happening, I've ended up too busy to do the little things to top off my battery.

By limiting to whom or how frequently I can share negative experiences with, I've found that it's ok to be a little sad sometimes, as long as I take care of myself once I realize it. It's also forced me to take a step back from being so self-centered as my own worst critic. Once I did that, I realized that I'm not doing as poorly in life as I thought I was. I have friends who care about me, and I'm not the only one who's primarily concerned about their own life. It's only natural to worry about my own wellbeing, as long as I don't fixate on everything that I perceive to be not going well. I still have things to work on of course, but objectively, I'm not an awful human being.

My battery died today, figuratively and literally. A phone doesn't work with a dead battery, and neither does a person. I'm allowed to let myself stop everything for a bit to recharge, and once I do, everything will be ok. ◊

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