Saturday, October 24, 2015

A Change in the Weather

It's been a while since I've started this post; I really liked the pictures I took but I didn't have time to think about what to write, and the few tidbits I did manage to jot down don't make much sense to me anymore. As you can see, I was originally going to talk about how the weather has changed for the cooler, but this week it's back into the 80s again at some points. But what a week it's been. I've constantly been feeling icky, and that's also partially from being so tired. I've been working nonstop for days, first to study for a midterm, and then to help with AHOW. I haven't been feeling down per se, but for some reason, so many bad things have been happening. The thing is, they're all minor things, like spilling coffee, or missing the bus, or having a persistent cough, but as the saying goes, there's no use crying over spilled milk (or coffee). You wipe it up, and keep walking. I seem to be handling all this much better now; I used to be so worn down from just one little thing going wrong, but now I solve the problem and life goes on. I don't know if this is an improvement in mental health, or if it's just a part of growing up, but it's a welcome change. Anxiety and getting upset is draining.

That aside, I still find the need to take time for myself. That's far from a bad thing, self care is so important in college, when there's not always a friend to check in on you. In a weird twist, I don't think I could have gotten as good at self care and being aware of what I need had I not had depression and so many panic attacks. I suppose it's true that overcoming obstacles prepares you for difficulties down the road. I've learned how to struggle and how to live through it, and it really is a valuable skill.

Sadly, that means I've been spending a lot of time by myself. In fact, this weekend, I don't plan on leaving my room until Sunday in order to catch up on work and sleep. In an attempt in mimicking a social life, I've gotten sucked in to Facebook again, though for the time being I've logged out.

Hopefully once I've caught up on everything, I can also put some time into working on this blog. It is in desperate need of an update, in order to keep up with the times and stay modern. Not that it was ever really relevant, but if I want it to be something I don't mind sharing with people, it needs to be on top of the trends.

In short, the nuisances in life never stop coming, but I'm handling it pretty well. And every cloud has a silver lining. As I was walking back after missing the bus, I looked up and saw a rainbow circling the sun as it burned away the fog. That's not something you see every day, and I wouldn't have seen it either had I not looked to the sky in exasperation over all the things gone wrong.

But this time, it was just right. ◊

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