Wednesday, December 25, 2013


I woke up this morning and thought it would be a good idea to have a cup of coffee. I only drink coffee occasionally, and with good reason; coffee makes me crazayyyy. I normally don't need coffee because iIeat sugar packets (yes, just sugar) if I need energy, but on cold days, sugar doesn't offer the liquidy creamy warmth that coffee has. Alas, the combination of the sugar and caffeine in coffee makes does things to my brain that cannot be described with words. so i drew up this handy dandy table below to illustrate.

The spontaneous decision to drink coffee always comes at the most inopportune times. For example, I was sitting in a cafe once waiting for a meeting to start, and since the cafe offered Starbucks, I though, shucks, why not? The meeting doesn't start until an hour and a half later and by then I'll be back to normal. I ordered an iced caffe mocha with extra whipped cream (my favorite!) and sat down at a table to do some stuff on my computer, minding my own business. I finish my coffee, and then suddenly, a guy comes up to me, and asks "Hi, do you mind if I sit here?" and my brain could not figure out how to react. I stared at him for a few seconds, then squeaked out something that I hoped sounded like "Sure!" Have I mentioned that coffee totally destroys my voice too? I sounded like someone that smokes 3 packs a day. Luckily, I think he understood and sat down. I went on trying to mind my own business, but the coffee was taking over my brain. I was reading Buzzfeed and laughing like a maniac. Somehow, the guy and I started a conversation and funnily enough he asked me if I would like his email :3 I said yes, but inwardly I was wondering, "Who the heck gives people an email? Aren't you supposed to, like, give them your phone number or something?" I was utterly confused, but I accepted it. The next few months I tried to communicate with him, because he was a student at my dream college, but it didn't work out. Every time I have coffee now, I feel an impulse to contact him again, but I knew my mind wasn't in a right state. So after a while I just gave up. "Welp," I thought, "That's that." So yea, moral of the story, don't drink coffee, no matter how tempting it seems.

This post has been edited to include proper grammar.